We're your average couple in their twenties. We do all the usual couple actives: Sunday Farmers' markets, coffee dates, trips to the book store etc.

A few months ago, we decided to hire an escort for a threesome in Saigon, Vietnam.

Audrey always wanted to fuck a girl and I quite like girls too. We woke up one day (after a night of fucking) and said "Let's find a girl for a threesome".

We figured hiring an escort would be the quickest and easiest way to bring in a second girl.

It didn't work out as planned.

What Happened?

After a quick Google search we discovered Line App (the WhatsApp of Asia).

Line has a people nearby feature to find friends nearby. In Vietnam, it's used for hookers. We found hundreds of escorts near us in Saigon.

Hookers. Hookers everywhere.

We added every hooker we could find and started looking for our perfect friend. We searched through a lot... A LOT of Asian hookers.

We finally found a babe that matched Audrey's criteria: hot , young , Asian ✅.

Ticking all the boxes!

We covered the general questions like age, is she a hooker and does she come to us. Most importantly we double checked that she did women and offered to pay her double – she was interested. Awesome!

She's down.

We locked in a time – she was coming over at 6PM

It was just after 4PM. So we did the only logical thing and ran to 7-Eleven for a bottle of emergency vodka.

Pro Tip: You need emergency vodka for your first Asian hooker threesome.

We got home, poured a vodka, showered, poured another vodka, and waited..

The time spent waiting for an Asian hooker to arrive is dangerous. You could easily start second guessing every decision you've ever made that lead to this point. Luckily, we had a bottle of emergency vodka. No thinking, just shots.

We got the text, she was downstairs.

The point of no return.

I went downstairs to meet our escort

She was even better looking in real life. Score 🔥!

I said hello and we jumped into the elevator. We didn't speak after that. I figured she didn't have the best English... That's all good, she wasn't visiting for a complex discussion.

We walked in the apartment and were greeted by Audrey...

Annnnnd....

The escort through up her hands and started shaking her head no. We told her that she had agreed to this. She pulled out her phone and rang who we can only guess was her pimp, leaving us sitting there questioning our entire existence. After she got off the phone she told us she's only into boy, demanded cab money, and left. Leaving us drunk,  horny and a little sad.

Then?

We didn't let the rejection kill our mood.

We did the only rational thing in that kind of situation and finished the emergency vodka. With a clearer, slightly hornier, mindset after the vodka we ordered a Grab (the Asian Uber) to Saigon's red light district: Bui Vien.

We went to Bui hoping to find a replacement.

We did spend our night on Bui surrounded by escorts. Unfortunately we didn't find a replacement. Instead we drank in excess and huffed laughing gas balloons all night at a hostess bar.

Where we started a lovely friendship with a beautiful hostess, but that's a story for another time.

We're still looking for our perfect threesome friend.


Update: We tried this again a few months later...

We returned to Vietnam a few months later and decided to try again with a new escort.

This time, we made sure they explicitly acknowledged the girl-on-girl activity. It didn't go as planned either.