It brings me great shame to be writing this story, but here we are again.

If you have no idea what I’m talking about, then quickly go read this story about the first time we tried hiring an escort and come back to me.

Our first day back in gods country – aka Saigon – didn't turn out as planned. What started as a beautiful day sitting in a coffee shop watching motorbikes whizz by soon turned into a day spent in hospital (a story for another time).

After we finally left the hospital and being mentally drained we decided we needed a drink. I've been really getting into Korean Dramas since being in Asia, so naturally, I've started drinking soju. After grabbing a few bottles from the local convenience store we head to the park. What nobody warns you about soju is that it taste like candy but its extremely alcoholic. It doesn't take you long to get fucked up.

Eventually, after making a quick stop on Bui Vien, we head back to our hotel. We begin fucking and because were both drunk and have been huffing balloons were extremely horny so the sex is intense. I mention how good it would be if another girl was with us and we both say "let's get one".

If only it was that easy

We jump back on Line, where we had already previously spoken to and found an Escort who said she understood what we were after. Her reply had us convinced we were on the same page.

She does girls and passes the fuckable test.

We ask her is she available to come over, and she says she's 10 minutes away. We tell her to take 30 minutes and double check that she's expecting a couple.

Oh fuck, we chuck on some clothes and run to the nearest convince store for cash and another bottle of Soju - always keep emergency drinks on hand.

We made it back with 5 minutes to go, I put on my sexiest slut outfit and we begin making out. A couple of minutes later we hear a knock on the door. Ivan jumps up to answer it and I stay in bed getting wetter at the thought I'm finally about to have sex with another women.

As she walks into the bedroom I notice that this is DEFINITELY not the girl we had been speaking to. She was a lot older, and no where near as pretty.

She looks surprised when she sees me, which raises concerns. She starts saying no but we tell her she said yes so she agrees as long as there is no kissing – eating pussy is okay but kissing is some obscene thing??

I politely tell her it's fine, and ask her to leave. After all she isn't the same girl we were communicating with, and to be honest did not meet my standards.

She asks for cab money, this time we refuse to pay her as she had agreed. She leaves in a huff and we go back to having amazing-but-not-as-amazing-as-a-threesome sex.

Hopefully, our third attempt is successful.